


friends with benefits

by thunderylee



Category: Japanese Actor RPF, NewS (Band)
Genre: Canon Universe, F/M, Romance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-03-21
Updated: 2012-03-21
Packaged: 2019-01-21 12:16:55
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 8,937
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12457614
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/thunderylee/pseuds/thunderylee
Summary: “There’s no such thing as friends with benefits,” Shige insists.





	friends with benefits

**Author's Note:**

> reposted from agck. written for je_whiteday 2012.

Massu knows before waking that he’s not in the right bed. The mattress is all wrong, the sheets aren’t soft enough, and there’s a lingering trace of perfume in the air that – while enticing – is definitely not his. There’s also the little matter of the person in his arms, the very small person with long, flowing hair and thick, pouty lips that bump against his collarbone as she sleeps.

His head is pounding as the events of last night rush back to him, but he’s more ashamed of whatever he did to get into this position. Masuda Takahisa is not the kind of guy who has one night stands. Hell, he doesn’t even have sex at all. There was one time in high school, a vow between friends to just do it and get it over with, and it was probably the most awkward experience of his life (and he’s a Johnny). From there on he promised himself he’d only do it when he was in love, the kind where the other person loves you back, and while he’s dated a few girls here and there since then, he hasn’t yet experienced that kind of love.

He almost doesn’t want to open his eyes, but he’s glad he did. His sigh of relief is enough to stir the woman snuggled against him, who makes an annoyed noise as she stretches and pops her big eyes open to meet his.

“‘Morning,” he says, very aware of his morning breath.

“‘Morning,” Kitagawa Keiko replies, smiling and looking completely comfortable in his arms.

They stare at each other. He hasn’t seen her for awhile, just in the magazines and on TV, and to him she’s even prettier right now with bed hair and no makeup. She’s dressed in a cute, modest nightgown, and she’d left her earrings in – pearls on a nest of gold. Keiko has always been so classy, right down to the details, and Massu figures if he has to wake up in bed with anyone, he’s glad it’s her.

“Did we…?” he starts, trailing off as he takes into account his own state of dress. He’s still wearing his T-shirt from last night, but his jeans are neatly folded on the vanity chair across her room.

She cringes as she stretches again, then nods. “Yeah, we did. I’m so sore.”

Heat floods Massu’s face as he feels embarrassed and proud at the same time. “Sorry.”

“It’s okay.” She grins at him, then forces a pout. “Hey, does this mean you don’t remember  _anything_?”

“Not at all,” he admits. “I’m really sorry. I never do things like this.”

Keiko folds her arms on his chest and narrows her eyes, but he can tell she doesn’t mean it. “I was sitting at the bar, feeling sad and lonely, and then you came to sweep me off my feet. Literally – you picked me up and carried me out. You looked into my eyes, told me that I’m the most beautiful woman you’ve ever seen, and that you’ve loved me since we were fifteen-”

“There is no way that happened,” Massu interrupts her before she can go any further. “I’m not nearly that charming, and I can’t even hold  _myself_  up after a few rounds.”

She sighs. “Okay, I made most of that up, but only to make you feel better. I saw you at the bar with Kato-kun and went over to say hi, but you were already so wasted that I told Kato-kun I was taking you home.”

“Shige,” Massu groans, flinging his arm over his face. “He’s never going to let me live this down.”

“You did say all of that stuff, though,” Keiko goes on, pulling his arm down and sucking her lips into her mouth cutely. “I know you didn’t mean it, but I wasn’t that sober either and it was really nice to hear. Obviously.”

“It was his idea to take tequila shots,” Massu grumbles. “I’m going to kill him.”

“It could be worse, right?” she says optimistically, and he laughs at the fact that it’s  _her_  comforting  _him_. “At least it was me and not some stranger. And it was  _much_  better than the last time.”

Massu makes a face. “Can we not talk about that? Ever?”

“I wouldn’t mind doing it again,” she says quietly. “You know, unofficially.”

“Unofficially?” Massu repeats. His body seems very approving of this idea, particularly right now, but his brain is a neverending loop of warning signs.

“Yeah, you know.” Keiko gestures wildly with her hands, like it’s some kind of secret code. “Nothing serious, just some fun. We’ve always been friends, right? Now we can just be friends with benefits.”

“Friends with benefits.” Massu stares at her. “So we’ll just meet up and have sex?”

She shrugs. “We can hang out or whatever. Do friend-type stuff, just… have sex, too.”

“And the point of this would be?” Massu asks.

“Let’s do it again and you’ll see,” she says teasingly, and Massu inhales sharply as she leans up to press her lips to his, leaving them tingling. “But not right now, because I’m sore.”

His face burns again as she starts to kiss him properly, but he turns away on instinct. At her hurt eyes, he rushes to shake his head. “No, I’m not rejecting you, I’m sorry, but… do you have a spare toothbrush?”

Her soft laughter is soothing, along with the knowing look she gives him as she rolls out of bed. “You haven’t changed a bit, Taka-kun. Last night you insisted on putting your shirt back on so our skin wouldn’t stick together as we slept.”

Massu brings his hands to his face as he rolls over onto his stomach, burying his head in Keiko’s pillow like an ostrich. “I am so mad at myself right now. I have never been this irresponsible in my life.”

“Don’t be,” Keiko tells him, and Massu looks up to see her shaking two toothbrushes in her hand. “I’m choosing to look at it as a positive experience. We may not have renewed our friendship otherwise, I don’t think. Also, you were very responsible. You had a condom in your wallet and even checked the expiration date before opening it.”

Now Massu pulls Keiko’s pillow  _over_  his head. “Please stop talking about it. I’m humiliated enough.”

“What? I can’t hear you.” The mattress dips with Keiko’s weight and the pillow is removed, her nails raking through his hair and it feels nice. “It’s okay, Taka-kun. We’ll have fun together.”

Grunting noncommittally, he accepts the spare toothbrush and disappears into her bathroom. While he’s brushing, already completely out of his comfort zone, she joins him and starts doing the same. She giggles when they both rush to spit at the same time, and Massu can’t help but laugh, too. Maybe this will be okay after all.

The second Massu turns off the sink, Keiko kisses him, her minty fresh breath and soft lips overwhelming him too much to respond initially, but then her hot tongue is flicking into his mouth and Massu catches up  _real_  fast. He’s always loved kissing, even if he hasn’t had that many people to do it with. His arms automatically wrap around her back as she arches into him and chases his tongue around his mouth. She’s leading the kiss and he doesn’t mind at all, his brain fading into nothing but  _Keiko_  as she kisses him breathless.

“I have to get ready for work now, I’m going to be late,” she whispers apologetically, giving him one last kiss before disappearing into her closet. “I’ll email you my schedule and we can plan our next outing, okay?”

Massu thinks it would be more appropriate to call it an ‘inning’, but he keeps the pun to himself. “Sure, okay.”

He’s still dazed when he’s in a cab awhile later, heading straight to his own workplace. He’s late, too, probably for the first time in his career, and he dreads having to answer all of the questions his band mates will undoubtedly have after Shige opens his big mouth. As for Shige himself, Massu can’t decide whether he wants to punch him or hug him; after all, it’s entirely Shige’s fault he ended up spending the night with the girl he’d loved in high school.

He’s pretty sure there aren’t supposed to be any kind of  _feelings_  involved in these kinds of casual situations, but he’s long since been over her, regardless of what his drunk counterpart says.

*

“There’s no such thing as friends with benefits,” Shige insists.

“Sure there is,” Koyama says with a grin. “I do it all the time.”

“No, you just screw every girl you meet,” Shige corrects him, beyond bitter. “Slut.”

Koyama shrugs. “They don’t complain.”

“You guys, let’s talk about something else,” Massu says firmly, then looks around the room for another topic. His eyes land on Tegoshi, who’s flipping through a magazine and ignoring them all. “Tegoshi, what’s up with you?”

“Hmm?” Tegoshi replies absently. “Do you guys know who Shida Mirai-chan is?

“Vaguely,” Shige answers. “Isn’t she dating Yamada from Hey Say?”

“They broke up,” Koyama replies. “Just recently, I think. It was really bad, but they’re both young so everything is much more dramatic. Why do you ask, Tego?”

“I saw her on TV last night and she looks just like me,” Tegoshi answers. “Like in the face, it’s really a striking resemblance.”

Massu pulls out his phone and Googles. “Oh, wow, you’re right. This isn’t even like how Tabe Mikako-chan has the same features as me – you and this girl could be identical twins.”

“She’s  _beautiful_ ,” Tegoshi goes on, slumping on the couch with a forlorn sigh. “I think I’m in love.”

“She’s  _eighteen_ ,” Shige points out. “You are  _six years_  older than she is.”

“It’s legal,” Koyama says. “Don’t be such a damper, Shige. I’ve never seen Tegoshi in love before.”

“So far it’s depressing,” Tegoshi reports. “All kinds of thoughts and no action.”

“Wasn’t it Keiko-chan’s drama she was on last night?” Koyama asks. “Maybe Massu can ask her to put in a good word.”

“I don’t have any good words for Tegoshi,” Massu says honestly, and Tegoshi laughs. “And besides, I can’t just ask her to do that.”

“Sure you can,” Koyama tells him. “Or you could bring Tegoshi with you when you visit Keiko-chan on set or something. He can take it from there.”

“I won’t be visiting her on her set,” Massu says. “I’m not her boyfriend. I have no reason to go see her at work. In fact, it would probably creep her out and make her end this whole thing before it even begins.”

“That may be for the better,” Tegoshi offers. “No offense, but I don’t like her. She’s too skinny and kind of flat chested. And you know she used to go out with Yamashita, right? Are you okay with his sloppy seconds?”

“She’s always been thin, it’s just how she’s built,” Massu replies, feeling defensive of his old friend. “And technically I had her first, so he had  _my_  sloppy seconds.”

“Eh?” Koyama exclaims, excited at the prospect of new gossip. “Massu and Keiko-chan were together before?! I thought nothing happened between you two in high school.”

Massu cowers at all the eyes on him. “I don’t tell you my business for a reason. We were close friends because of our jobs and everyone  _else_  was doing it, so we decided to take each other’s virginity. That’s all it was.”

“That’s so sweet,” Koyama says. “I’ll be rooting for you two.”

“We’re just friends.” Massu sighs. “There’s nothing to root for.”

“Says you,” Koyama replies with a wink.

“For someone who doesn’t usually remember his girls’  _names_ , you sure are a hopeless romantic,” Shige tells Koyama.

“Shige sounds jealous,” Tegoshi says with a snicker.

“No, I’m not-” Shige starts, but Koyama has already moved over to hug him.

“Don’t worry, I still love Shige the best,” Koyama teases, smothering Shige as much as he can. “And I always remember their names. The other night I had a Shigemi and thought of you.”

“That’s gross,” Shige replies, making an amusing disgusted face as he tries to squirm out of Koyama’s hold.

“Did you call out her name a lot, Kei?” Massu eggs him on.

Koyama grins. “More than usual.”

Tegoshi’s rolling on the couch in laughter while Massu feels that karma is on his side for once. While Shige eventually gives in and lets Koyama cuddle him, Massu’s phone vibrates and his eyes widen when he sees the message.

_You’re free tonight, right? I’ve been thinking about you all day, how good it was and how it could only be better when you’re sober. I want to see you again tonight. All of you._

“Massu looks like he just got flashed,” Koyama comments. “Did Keiko-chan send a naughty picture?”

“No, just words,” Massu answers, too flustered to type a reply. “This is going to take some getting used to.”

Only Shige is giving him a disapproving look. “This really isn’t a good idea, Massu. You should have seen your face when she walked into the bar last night. You told me you were still in love with her.”

“I was drunk,” Massu protests. “Which was entirely your fault, by the way. I’m never drinking with you again.”

“You’re welcome,” Shige says pointedly. “You can thank me again after you get  _laid_  tonight.  _Again_.”

“For the love of God, can we please talk about something else, anything else?” Massu exclaims. “Let’s focus on Tegoshi’s wholly unhealthy obsession with a barely legal girl who looks just like himself.”

“But that’s not nearly as interesting,” Koyama tells him. “Are you uncomfortable doing it sober? I can give you some tips, if you want.”

“No, I do not want any sex tips from you,” Massu hisses through his teeth. “Either give us work to do or send us home already. I have other things I could be doing.”

“Yeah, like Keiko-chan,” Koyama teases. “Fine, let’s get back to work. I sure hope you’ll be in a better mood tomorrow.”

Massu facepalms, but he can’t deny Koyama’s accusation one bit.

*

When Keiko had said “friend-type stuff” in addition to the sex, Massu had naturally assumed that the friend-type stuff would come first. Instead he’s accosted the minute he steps into her apartment, manhandled all the way down the hall, and thrown down on her bed before he even has a chance to say “good evening.”

As she climbs on top of him, fusing their mouths together and flicking her tongue teasingly against his, he can’t really bring himself to mind. His hands slide up her thighs, torso, and finally into her hair, where he finds it damp and unstyled.

“Why is your hair wet?” he gets out. “It’s not raining.”

“I took a quick shower when you said you were on your way,” she whispers against his lips. “Thoughtful, right?”

It is, kind of. He kisses her harder, letting go of his inhibitions and allowing his hands to explore her body, slipping under her shirt to find her braless and very aroused. She moans into his mouth as he flicks her nipples with his thumbs and it’s a pretty sound, sending all of his blood rushing between his legs where Keiko grinds down against him and pulls an answering groan from his throat.

“Your voice is so hot,” she hisses, breaking apart long enough to pull her shirt over her head and urge him to do the same. “I’ve always loved your voice, Taka.”

He feels like he should say something, but he doesn’t trust his words right now, so he responds the only way he can think of – by rolling them over and taking control. He lays Keiko down on the bed as he settles on top of her, her legs spreading for him invitingly and his instincts have him rolling his hips against her, rubbing them together through their clothes and Massu can’t hold back his cry of relief as he finally gets friction.

“Taka, please,” she says, a little breathless as she drops her hands to his belt. “Do that inside me.”

Grunting in acknowledgement, he reaches for her pants at the same time she opens his, coiling her fingers around his length and he gasps into her mouth at the contact. She squeezes him from base to tip and he doesn’t think he can get any harder, his mind so clouded by lust that he has no reservations about shoving down the rest of her clothes and touching her where she’s incredibly wet for him.

The noise she makes is shrill and hurried and he wants to hear it again, her body contracting around his fingers that Massu moves in and out as fast as he can. Keiko’s moaning outright, quivering beneath him and he wants to be inside her so badly, stretching an arm out for his jeans to retrieve his wallet.

“It’s okay, I have some,” Keiko whispers, pulling an entire strip out from under her pillow, and Massu smiles at the familiar brand. “I figured you’d want to use the same kind as before.”

“You’re really awesome, Keiko-chan,” Massu finally speaks, carefully detaching one of the squares off of the strip and tearing it open. He rolls it on and gently pushes her legs up, feeling her thighs tense under his hands as he presses his lips to hers once more. “I’m, um, going to do it now.”

She nods and he pushes in, sending her head flying back onto her pillow as she arches and guides Massu’s movements with her body. He wraps his arms around her and presses his face into her neck, mouthing her skin and groaning softly as he feels her all around him, massaging his length with her muscles and tightening with each deep thrust. He should really slow down, savor it, but he can’t stop, clutching onto her shoulders as he pounds into her as fast as he can, whispering her name.

Suddenly she clamps down around him and shudders, leaving him unable to catch his breath from the combination of everything Keiko, his ego soaring at being able to make her come like this. It gives him the confidence to reach for her hair, guiding her back down into his mouth, where he tastes her moans on his tongue and loses his mind completely.

He doesn’t last much longer, but her nails in his back are encouraging and he groans as he finally gives in to his orgasm. It leaves him tingling and breathless, blindly seeking out her mouth as he comes down, and their kiss is more sensual now that there isn’t any sexual urgency behind it.

It’s Keiko who breaks apart first, giggling as she slips out from under Massu’s weight. “Oh, this was a good idea.”

“Yeah,” Massu agrees, still gasping for air. “What happens now?”

Keiko shrugs. “Sato Megumi is having a party tonight, if you want to go.”

“I don’t know…” Massu starts. Model parties aren’t really his thing.

“Oh, right, of course.” Keiko waves her hand dismissively. “That would probably be too much like a date. Hmm, then you should probably just go home.”

“Home?” Massu repeats, bewildered.

“Yeah.” Keiko leers at him. “Unless you want to do it again.”

Massu considers his level of exhaustion. “Give me ten minutes.”

She nods and stretches, then disappears for awhile. Massu can hardly move, but he manages to sit up when Keiko returns with tea. There’s something highly erotic about being served tea by a completely nude woman, and Massu’s cup is barely to his lips before he’s more than recovered. He must be eyeing her pretty obviously, because she laughs and places both of their teacups on her nightstand before pulling him back into her mouth.

This time it’s much easier, much more familiar, and Massu wedges his hand between their gyrating bodies to rub her clit while he moves in and out of her. Her noises are beautiful, her body on fire and she seems to explode with her orgasm, clinging to him and screaming his name as he struggles to push through it. They’re both sweating and moaning and the end is nowhere in sight; Keiko comes three more times before Massu finally does, and it leaves him even more disoriented and worn out.

“I’m done,” Keiko wheezes, pushing Massu away with a giggle. “I won’t be able to walk if there’s a third round.”

Massu feels his cheeks heat up at that, but he also smirks proudly. “As soon as I can move, I’ll leave.”

Catching the time on her alarm clock, Keiko sighs. “You don’t have to. I already missed most of the party. You may as well sleep here again. You can take a shower if you want.”

“Actually, I think I’ll go,” Massu says slowly, trying to gather the strength to get up. “I haven’t been home since yesterday and I have to focus on work tomorrow. I was kind of useless today.”

“Tell me about it,” Keiko scoffs. “Even Mirai-chan was giving me a hard time about being distracted, and she’s only eighteen!”

Massu snorts. “Tegoshi has a thing for her, but only because she looks like him.”

“Oh, really?” Keiko replies in an amused tone. “She’s pretty stuck up herself, so maybe they’ll be perfect for each other.”

“Maybe.” Massu manages to roll out of bed and awkwardly gets dressed. “I’ll see you… sometime soon, Keiko-chan.”

“Bye~” Keiko calls out after him, still snuggling in her sheets as Massu lets himself out of her apartment.

The winter air is cold and awakening as he heads to his car, and he ignores the nagging voice in his mind that’s reminding him exactly why he’s driving all the way home instead of sleeping in Keiko’s nice warm bed.

“I don’t love her,” he says out loud, nodding to himself as the voice crooning on the radio sings about promises of forever. “Not anymore.”

If he keeps telling himself that, it should eventually be true.

*

The four members of NEWS are enjoying lunch at an outdoor cafe when Tegoshi instantly puts down his untouched sandwich and stares out in the distance.

“Tegoshi, eat,” Koyama says firmly. “We’re not going through this again.”

“She’s here,” Tegoshi gasps, licking his lips as he checks his reflection in his watch. “Why is she here?”

Massu doesn’t know who he’s talking about until he follows Tegoshi’s line of sight and sees the female version of him (the real one, not the one in various skanky costumes who prances across the stage) striding up to the fence, standing tall despite being so short, and setting her jaw.

“Tegoshi Yuuya-kun!” she calls out, earning the attention of everyone on the patio.

“Y-yes?” Tegoshi replies, standing up from his seat like he’s in school or something.

She stares at him pointedly, and Tegoshi coolly walks over to the fence. They have a brief conversation that Massu can’t hear, then pull out their phones to exchange numbers. Koyama’s grinning like a proud mother hen while Shige cringes and Massu just shakes his head and smiles. Any girl who can tame the insufferable Tegoshi is cool in his book, regardless of how old she is. Their mental age is about even, anyway.

“She said I can take her out,” Tegoshi relays excitedly when Mirai dismisses him to return to the table. “She also asked me if I really like to dress like a girl or if I just do it for work, and before I could answer she said she wouldn’t mind dressing me up for our date.”

Shige looks like he would happily drown himself in his tea right now, but Massu just pats Tegoshi on the back while Koyama fluffs his hair. “That’s so exciting!” Koyama exclaims. “Be sure to tell us all about it.”

“Not all about it,” Shige corrects, rubbing his temples.

“I wonder how she found out I liked her,” Tegoshi muses, tapping his chin as he feigns thought. “Massu, do you know?”

“No idea,” Massu lies, and Tegoshi grins at him.

“Speaking of,” Koyama segues, and Massu groans in preparation. “How’s Keiko-chan?”

“Fine,” he answers. “She’s been busy, so I haven’t seen her that much, but… yeah.”

“I have to know,” Tegoshi says, an ornery glint in his eye, “do you two do anything other than hook up?”

“Not really,” Massu answers. “We tried to go to the mall the other day, but we didn’t make it out of the parking lot.”

“Ah, I love doing it in a car,” Koyama says wistfully. “It’s so much classier than the bathroom. I’m too tall for the backseat, though. Can you fit okay?”

“Passenger seat,” Massu tells him, and Koyama nods in understanding. “You lean it all the way back, then she gets on top and-”

“STOP,” Shige roars, and Massu bites back his laugh at Shige’s red face. “I’m happy you’re getting some, Massu, I really am, but please be considerate of those of us who  _aren’t_.”

“You’re not saying that to Kei,” Massu says with a pout. “He overshares all the time.”

“Yes, well, he’s a freak,” Shige replies. “You at least have some sense of decency left.”

“Aw, Shige will find someone someday,” Koyama says, slinging an arm around Shige and shoving a biscuit in his mouth. “Then all four of us can be satisfied!”

“Somehow I don’t think Mirai-chan will be quick to let Tegoshi close to her,” Massu comments in amusement.

“That’s fine,” Tegoshi says, with what looks like stars in his eyes from the mere mention of her name. “I’m happy just looking at her. She’s so perfect.”

“You’re so narcissistic,” Shige mumbles, but Tegoshi ignores him.

Massu’s phone beeps again, the familiar rush coursing through his body as he sees the sender name.  _One of these days you should be the one to contact me, you know. It makes me feel less promiscuous._

“Your face looks so  _dirty_ ,” Koyama comments as Massu starts typing back. “What I wouldn’t give to know what you’re saying right now.”

“Please don’t indulge him,” Shige says weakly.

Massu says nothing, just sends off his response:  _Come to my place tonight. I’ll cook._

He’s already planned the menu when she replies  _I’ll bring dessert! ;)_  and he chokes on his air at the implication. “I have to go to the store,” he gets out, tossing down enough cash to cover his lunch before wolfing down the rest of his sandwich. “See you guys later.”

Somehow tonight seems more important than all of the other nights combined, and while Massu knows damn well why, he’s not ready to admit it to himself yet. If he has his way, he’ll win her over first.

*

“This is so good!” Keiko squeals as she eats, and Massu beams as much as when she flatters him in bed. “Seriously, Taka-kun, you should be a chef or something. I’d eat at your restaurant every day.”

“Thank you,” he replies happily, “but the idol thing seems to be working out for now. Maybe when I’m old and ugly and can’t dance anymore.”

“You’ll never be ugly,” she says firmly. “You’ll be handsome as an old man, too.”

Massu blushes. “Keiko-chan shouldn’t say things like that.”

“Why? It’s the truth.” She slurps down some more noodles and Massu feels a pull in his groin. “Are you okay? You’re looking at me strangely. Do I have something in my teeth?”

“No, sorry,” Massu replies, staring down at his plate, which is only halfway eaten. He’s incredibly nervous tonight, despite having already been with her a number of times. And now he can’t stop thinking about her lips in suction.

“Taka-kun, we can’t do this if we’re not going to be honest with each other,” she says softly, standing up and crossing the short distance to his chair. “Please tell me whatever is bothering you.”

His anxiety is even worse with her hovering over him like that, so he grabs her by the waist and pulls her into his lap. She straddles him easily, her skirt riding up on her thighs, and he watches her eyes darken as they meet his.

“If this is what you wanted, you could have just said so,” she whispers.

“Not…  _just_  this,” he admits, the words coming easier now that she’s so close. “I was thinking about you doing something else to me.”

“Oh,” she replies, her lips turning up into a smile as she wraps her arms around his neck and twist a few fingers in his hair. “What is it, Taka-kun? Do you want me to tie you up? Spank you? Cut you? Choke you? If it’s for you, I’ll do it, anything.”

“Um, wow,” Massu replies, his mind sufficiently blown by these options. “Nothing that…  _extreme_ , at least not right now.”

“Or could it be,” Keiko goes on, her face lighting up as she rocks down against Massu’s erection contained in his jeans. “ _You_  want to be the noodles I was just slurping.”

Massu can’t stop his shiver, completely giving himself away, and Keiko giggles when he nods. “I’ve never…” he gets out. “I haven’t had that done to me before.”

“You poor thing,” she teases him, then straightens her legs to slide down his body. “Relax, I’ll take care of you.”

He watches in awe as she kneels before him, her arms resting on his thighs as she unfastens his belt. It gets a little awkward when she pulls out his cock, urging him to lift his hips so she can lower his jeans enough to be comfortable, but then it’s disappearing past her lips before his eyes and Massu doesn’t know how he’s gone his entire life without experiencing this. Her mouth is like heaven, hot and wet and  _moving_  and his hand is in her hair instantly, pushing it out of her face as she takes him in and out.

“Keiko-chan,” he gasps, grabbing onto the table with his fist to keep from being rough with her. “Oh, God.”

She pulls back, tonguing the head and Massu breaks out in a sweat from the effort of holding back. It feels so good, but he doesn’t want it to end yet, especially when she cups his tight balls in her palm and gently rolls them. Then she sucks him back down and Massu groans out loud, forcing his eyes to stay open and on her, and the sight of his cock glistening from her saliva each time she pulls back is too much.

“Keiko-chan,” he says again, his tone panicked. “I’m coming.”

He wholly expects her to stop, to pull back again and finish him off with her hand, but she just moves faster, hollowing out her cheeks and Massu’s orgasm rips through him, sucked out by her hot mouth and he has to brace himself with both hands on the table to keep from slumping to the floor with her.

“Mm, you taste good,” Keiko whispers as she leans up enough to capture his lips. “Want to taste?”

He’s distracted enough to do it, his eyebrows rising at the bittersweet tang mixed in with the flavor of the meal Massu had cooked them, and he kisses her soulfully until he recognizes the needy way she’s rubbing against his leg.

“Wait,” he breathes, nearly falling over himself to clear off the table and wipe up any stray drops with his pants around his thighs. “Okay.”

Keiko’s head is tilted in confusion, but her eyes widen with recognition the second he picks her up and sets her on the table, pushing her skirt up and her panties down before spreading her legs. “ _Taka_ -kun.”

“I was always taught to eat at the table,” he jokes, and Keiko laughs as she bites her lip in anticipation. “I haven’t done this either, so I hope it’s okay.”

“I’ll help you,” she offers, her fingers twisting in his hair to guide him. He’s overcome by her scent, closing his eyes to the sensation as he loops his arms around her thighs and  _licks_.

He figures it out real quick, finds the bump that swells under his tongue and revels in the way Keiko arches towards him, moaning out into his apartment and it fuels him to keep going. Her thighs tremble and he releases one of them to twist two fingers inside her, feeling her body tighten with each lick to her clit.

“Taka,” she gasps, her body thrusting against his face, and Massu feels her start to come. “Don’t stop.”

Not even in his wildest dreams would he even think about stopping, his entire focus on keeping up the speed and rhythm on both his tongue and fingers to bring her off. It’s as complicated as idol choreography, but just as fulfilling when he gets it right, feeling the little bump twitch while her muscles contract and Massu’s grinning with pride when she pushes him away, crossing her legs and squirming on his table as her body’s rocked by orgasm.

“Don’t you look pleased with yourself,” Keiko says, breathless, and Massu laughs. “Come here.”

It feels strange to crawl up onto his own kitchen table, but then her tongue is in his mouth, tasting herself and he’s rock hard again in no time. He manages to grab the condom from his wallet before kicking his pants off onto his chair, and the table legs scrape against the floor as he enters her, groaning as he pushes through the resistance from her release. He goes slowly to keep from breaking the table, but deeper to make up for lack of speed and Keiko’s moaning louder than usual, pushing up against him as he groans into her neck from the pressure.

This may be their most intimate encounter yet, despite being mostly dressed on the kitchen table. It’s so intense that Massu can’t push away the lingering feelings, the ones that have him wanting to hold her and be with her with clothes on, too. It has him clutching onto her, getting more into it with each thrust, and by the time he comes, he’s completely forgotten that this is supposed to mean nothing. He doesn’t say anything incriminating, but he does pull her back into his mouth afterwards and kisses her until he comes down.

“I knew you’d like the dessert I chose,” Keiko says cutely, and Massu smiles until she adds, “It’s getting late. I should go. Thanks for dinner.”

Wordlessly he gets up, jumping back into his pants while she stuffs her panties into her purse, and Massu walks her to the door. She waves goodbye before disappearing down the hallway, and Massu watches her until she turns the corner, then bangs his head on his own door.

“Dammit,” he says to himself. He wasn’t supposed to do this. He wasn’t supposed to fall in love.

He ignores the fact that he probably never fell out of it to begin with.

*

Long quantities of time apart are inevitable in this industry, but Massu finds himself grateful for his busy schedule. While on tour with NEWS, he doesn’t have time to think about Keiko or bemoan an impossible relationship. He’s also not getting laid, which he didn’t know he would miss until it catches up with him.

“Phone sex,” Tegoshi hisses at him between formations.

“What?!” Massu exclaims, taken aback and completely flustered at the two simple words. “Don’t say things like that to me in the middle of a concert!”

“ _Go have some_ ,” Tegoshi emphasizes. “You look like you should be dancing to Murarisuto.”

Massu gapes at the accusation, but he can’t deny the youngest member has a point. After two months of nothing, he gets turned on when the wind blows or when his costume rubs him the right way. He tries to take care of it on his own, fisting himself off in the shower while the others go down to the onsen, but it’s not enough. Not only is he in love with Keiko, he’s become sexually dependent on her, too.

At least that last part he can do something about. As humiliating as it is, the need is strong enough to have him flip every lock on his hotel door, close the blinds and the curtains, and hide under his covers  _and_  his pillows in the dark before dialing her number on his cell phone.

“Taka-kun!” she answers, sounding both happy and surprised. “Aren’t you on tour? Is everything okay?”

“Are you alone?” he asks, suddenly aware of how creepy he sounds, but he’s so desperate he doesn’t even care anymore.

“Yes?” she replies. “What’s with your voice? It’s seriously hotter than usual right now.”

“I, um,” Massu sputters out, squeezing his eyes shut to block out the shame. “Keiko-chan, I need you to do… I want… over the phone.”

“Oh,” Keiko breathes. “ _Oh_. Hold on. I’ve got you, Taka-kun, just give me a second.”

Massu will give her anything she wants as long as she makes this less awkward. He hears her move around, struggle with something, and finally sigh, those noises alone enough to have Massu reaching between his legs.

“Now this is something  _I’ve_  never done before,” Keiko whispers, her voice quiet and gravelly and tickling Massu’s ear. “Do we talk about what we’re doing, or what?”

“I don’t know, I haven’t done it either,” he says. “I think I just want to… hear you.”

“Mm, I want to hear you, too.” She moans softly. “I love your voice so much.”

“Are you… already?” he asks, squeezing himself tighter at the thought.

“Sort of. I’m teasing, lightly drifting my fingers down my chest. I miss you, too, you know. I got wet the second you started talking.”

“That’s…” he trails off, unable to put his thoughts into words, at least acceptable words that won’t make him feel like a porn star. “Are you wearing anything?”

She giggles. “Nope. Took it off before we started. You?”

“Um, yeah,” he replies. “I can take it off, though. Hold on.”

He’s glad for the excuse, because it’s sweltering hot underneath the covers with all of his clothes on. He pulls his shirt over his head and pushes down his shorts and boxers, laying naked on his stomach and picking the phone back up. “Okay.”

“This is really hot,” she says. “Just the thought of you touching yourself… are you?”

“Yeah,” he answers. “Not too much, though. Slowly. Make it last.”

“Taka, God.” She inhales sharply, and Massu lets out a groan he can’t hold back. “Someday, when you get back in town, I want us to do this for real. I want to watch you.”

Massu strokes himself harder at the thought of doing this under her eyes, watching her fingers rub between her own legs in return. “Yes, let’s,” he pants.

A sharp moan pierces his mind then, followed by another groan by Massu. “I’m doing it now, Taka. Let me hear you, all of it. I want to hear you come.”

That’s it, the last push he needed, and he struggles to keep the phone up to his ear as he ups his speed and directs his noises unabashedly into the mouthpiece. He hears Keiko, too, her whimpers that escalate as she gets close, and he feels all of his nerves ignite at once as his orgasm looms in the distance.

“I’m -” he starts, cutting himself off with a loud wail as he finally reaches his peak, spilling over his fingers onto the mattress and he can’t bring himself to care, because now she’s getting off in his ear and it feels like she’s right here with him. “ _Keiko_.”

“Oh, my God,” she wheezes, her breath coming in spurts as she calms down. “That was amazing, Taka-kun. I’m so glad you called me. Sleep well, okay? And do your best on the rest of the tour!”

“Wait-” he tries, but she’s already hung up. Frowning, he assesses the mess in his sheets, throws on his clothes, and imposes on Tegoshi, who’s wearing a sundress and a blonde wig in front of his laptop.

“I can explain,” Tegoshi rushes to say.

“Don’t care,” Massu replies, plugging in his iPod headphones before crashing on one side of Tegoshi’s bed. When he wakes up, there are covers pulled over him and Tegoshi snuggling up against his back, and it’s the loneliest he’s ever felt.

“It’s so obvious you love her,” Tegoshi mutters into his hair. “I can’t think of anything worse than being in love with someone you’re so intimate with who doesn’t love you back. Why do you torture yourself so much?”

“I don’t know,” Massu answers, and Tegoshi hugs him tighter. “I guess I’ll just take whatever I can get. If all I can have is sex without feelings, so be it. I’ve loved her for basically ten years, I’m used to it by now.”

“You said it,” Tegoshi mumbles happily. “The first step is admitting it to yourself. Now you just have to tell her.”

“Pointless.” Massu rolls over onto his back. “She doesn’t love me. She never has.”

Tegoshi pokes him in the cheek. “You’ll never know until you try.”

The door clicks open then, and Massu wonders if  _everyone_  has a key to Tegoshi’s room as Shige bursts in. “Oh, my God. My eyes.”

“Shige is such a prude,” Tegoshi tells him, flinging his arm across Massu’s chest and pressing a big kiss to his cheek. In response, Massu embraces Tegoshi and squeezes him tightly.

Shige makes a cute disgusted face and addresses the ceiling. “This is the last time I ever come to wake you up, Tego,” and he storms off.

“Isn’t it comforting to know that there’s someone out there worse off than you?” Tegoshi asks.

“Actually, yes,” Massu says with a smile that lasts the rest of the tour.

*

The moment is perfect. They’re on the ferris wheel, making out like teenagers, and Massu feels like one again as his heart beats in his throat.

“Do you remember?” Keiko says excitedly, and Massu wonders if she’s regressed to seventeen, too. “This is where we first decided to do it. We went straight to my parents’ house and went for it.”

“How could I forget?” Massu replies, leaning his forehead against her shoulder. “I was so awful.”

“We were  _both_  awful,” Keiko amends, pushing his face up by his chin. “We’re much better now.”

Behind her smiling face, Massu notices the sun start to set. “Keiko-chan -”

“I never thought you actually would do it,” she goes on, glancing up as she recalls the past, and Massu’s nerves feel like they’re frying. “You were always so conservative. Still are. None of my friends would believe me if I told them I was sleeping with you.”

“Keiko-chan -” Massu tries again.

“I’m really glad we can be so smart about this, then and now.” She leans in to kiss him, and as much as he wants to tell her how he feels, he can’t resist her. “Most people would get all fucked up about it, mistaking lust for love and ruining  _everything_. Love is nothing but troublesome, you know? It’s so stupid.”

“Love is not stupid,” Massu says firmly, and Keiko’s face falls. “I’m sorry, I can’t do this anymore.”

“What?” Her eyes look so wounded, and it breaks Massu’s heart to be responsible for them, but he can’t let this go any further. “Taka, what happened? We were just kissing and having a good time together…”

If this were a drama, the cage would open right now and he could walk away, but this is real life and they haven’t even started letting people off yet. He stares out the window, watching the romantic sunset on the horizon, and feels lower than he should while so high in the sky.

“I’m sorry,” he says again. “It was never casual for me. Then, now, even the past couple years when we didn’t really see each other, you were still in the back of my mind. I’ve always been in love with you.”

“Taka.”

He won’t look at her, he can’t. He’s filled with so many emotions that he doesn’t know whether he wants to punch something, cry, run a mile, or eat his feelings. If there was ever any doubt in his mind that he felt something for Keiko, the proof is right here. Even when things get crazy, Masuda Takahisa is strong, composed, and rational in his thoughts and actions. Right now, he’s anything but.

“I’m sorry,” he says a third time. “I ruined everything, like you just said, but I did  _not_  mistake lust for love. I wouldn’t have touched you if I didn’t love you, drunk or sober, and while I tried to lie to myself and say that we’re just friends, we’re not. We never were.”

Keiko doesn’t say anything, and Massu looks even more intently out the window, like the force of his eyes will make this awkward ride come to an end sooner. He breathes deeply, gathering up his composure that temporarily disappeared, and organizes his thoughts enough to keep talking.

“I don’t want to go home afterwards,” he says slowly. “I don’t want to text you just to meet up. I don’t want everything we do to just be a prelude to sex. I want to talk to you about whatever comes to mind, hold you while we watch movies or dance or do nothing at all, and go to your friends’ model parties even though I’ll be completely out of place. I want to sleep with you in the literal sense. I want to see your parents again, and I want to take you home to mine. I want to come visit you at work and send you flowers when you have a busy day. If I can’t have that, all of it, then I don’t want any of it.”

They’re just now starting to let people off, but their cage is one of the last ones. The atmosphere gets worse with each jerk upwards where neither of them say anything, even though Massu’s done talking. He said everything he’s wanted to say, and now there’s nothing to do but bide his time until they can part forever.

Somewhere near the top, a hand closes over his and Massu can’t bring himself to jerk away. “Don’t fuck with me, Keiko. I don’t want to hate you.”

Wordlessly, she turns his hand over and laces their fingers together, her thumb rubbing his in the soothing gesture that’s usually the man’s place. He takes a deep breath, calming down enough to look at her, and all of his anger dissipates when he sees the silent tears streaming down her face.

“I want to hate you for making me cry,” she says softly, red-eyed and quiver-lipped and it’s probably the ugliest she’s ever looked, which is still beautiful in Massu’s eyes. “I’ve never let anyone make me cry before.”

“Not even Yamashita?” Massu asks bitterly.

Keiko laughs. “He wasn’t worth my tears.”

“And I am?” Massu prompts.

Keiko takes a deep breath, squeezing his hand for support, and Massu stares at her incredulously. When she doesn’t speak, he can’t take it anymore and grabs his handkerchief from his pocket, dabs at her face and around her eyes, frowning as a fresh wave of tears fall at the gesture.

“I’m a liar,” she finally says. “But so are you.”

“What did you lie about?” he asks gently, still holding the cloth to her face.

“The same thing you did.”

He pauses, all of their interactions since the day he met her flashing in front of his eyes, but before he can think too hard about it, her lips are on his. As wet as it is, he still feels that tingle that’s more like an electric shock and he pulls her in his arms, kissing her deeply and unhurriedly. She kisses him back and he wonders if they’re having a conversation right now, sharing their feelings without words and expressing forgiveness and regret for lost time.

“All right, you two, take it somewhere else,” the attendant interrupts them, then gasps at Keiko’s face. “Kitagawa-san.”

“I’m fine,” she sniffs, lacing her hand with Massu’s as they hop out of the cage. “Just revisiting some memories with an old friend. I am so moved right now.”

Massu pretends to agree with this, though the attendant clearly doesn’t know who he is, and he leads Keiko through the crowds of people until they get to a clearing. “Getting a head start on the rumors?” he jokes.

“Your agency will never admit to it anyway,” she replies, “and I don’t really care.”

“I don’t care either,” he says. “All that matters to me is  _you_  admitting it.”

She stares at him, right into his eyes, and takes a deep breath. “I love you, too,” she says clearly. “I don’t know when, maybe ten years ago, maybe ten minutes ago, but right now I do. I want all of those things you mentioned, especially the sleeping part, because  _damn_  that was nice.”

“Let’s go, then,” Massu says, urging her towards the exit.

“It’s only eight P.M.,” she points out.

“I’m suddenly tired,” Massu tells her, only halfway lying, and he doesn’t let go of her hand all the way home.

Later, in his bed, they don’t stay true to the sleeping-only part of his wishes, but he feels her love with every motion. She doesn’t leave afterwards, succumbing to her exhaustion in his arms and in a roundabout way, Massu’s glad that there’s such a concept as friends with benefits, even if it’s not real.

He’ll never tell Shige he was right.

> *bonus*

“You know who’s hot?” Tegoshi says near the end of summer. “Nakagawa Shoko.”

Keiko pauses with a hamburger halfway to her mouth. “Shokotan? I haven’t seen her in  _years_.”

“What happened to Mirai-chan?” Koyama asks gently.

“Get tired of looking in a mirror?” Shige teases Tegoshi.

Tegoshi rolls his eyes. “It wasn’t like that at  _all_. She has a bad personality underneath all that cuteness.”

“You don’t say,” Massu says, stuffing a handful of fries into his mouth to keep from laughing.

“I want someone who appreciates me and doesn’t try to make me her pet,” Tegoshi goes on. “I think Shokotan would be fun. She’s into a lot of the same stuff as me.”

“I’ll see what I can do,” Keiko says sweetly, and Tegoshi’s eyes light up.

“Keiko-chan, you’re the best!” Tegoshi exclaims, running around the table to fling his arms around her.

“Hey,” Massu says, picking up Tegoshi’s arms and handing them back to him. “Boundaries, Tegoshi.”

“You didn’t have boundaries when you two were cuddled in bed together in Fukuoka,” Shige inputs. “Which still scars me, by the way.”

Keiko’s raising her eyebrows at Massu now. “Something you want to tell me?”

“Tegoshi is very affectionate,” is all Massu says. “And Shige is fun to traumatize.”

“Worst friend ever,” Shige grumbles. “I get you drunk enough to go home with her and now you’re all happy in love and you’re  _still_  mean to me.”

Massu just shakes his head. “Bitter.”

“So bitter,” adds Tegoshi.

“Jump in anytime, Kei,” Shige says pointedly, then turns to where Koyama’s preoccupied by his phone. “Hey, I’m being TegoMasu tag-teamed here.”

“Sounds like it should be a lot more fun than it really is,” Tegoshi comments, and Massu loops his arm around Keiko’s waist to pull her closer to him (and further away from Tegoshi).

“What?” Koyama finally says, looking up from his display. “Sorry, I’m… yeah.”

“Leader!” Tegoshi exclaims, diving across Shige to snatch Koyama’s phone. “Who is more important than us? Let’s see… oh.  _Oh_.”

Shige, Massu, and Keiko all watch Tegoshi’s face as his eyes widen with each scroll through Koyama’s text messages. Koyama just folds his arms and waits, seeming to enjoy Tegoshi’s reactions. “Satisfied?” he finally says.

“But Kei-chan,” Tegoshi says, feigning shock, “these are all to the  _same girl_!”

Massu gasps. “Playboy Koyama Keiichiro is settling down?!”

“ _No_ ,” Koyama replies, taking his phone back. “We’re just friends. I worked with Riisa-chan earlier this year and we really hit it off.”

“I don’t text my friends like  _that_ ,” Tegoshi says with a dirty grin.

“Special friends,” Koyama amends. “The kind of friendship where clothes are optional.”

“Friends with benefits?” Keiko suggests, sharing a knowing glance with Massu.

Koyama looks sheepish. “I don’t know, you guys. I don’t even think about other girls anymore -”

The rest of his statement is drowned out by the large cheer from the other members of NEWS and Keiko, even Shige who instantly gets that look of resentment he always gets when someone hooks up.

“I’m forever alone!” he moans, and both Tegoshi and Koyama smack him in the head.

“I’ll be your girlfriend, Shige,” Tegoshi says cutely, and Shige makes the grossest face as he pushes Tegoshi out of his lap.

“He snuggles really well,” Massu offers.

“And he’s an excellent kisser,” Koyama adds, then notices Massu and Shige’s blank stares. “What? I was curious. Don’t judge.”

Tegoshi stands behind Shige and wraps his arms around his neck. “I put out, too.”

“You know,” Keiko speaks up, taking a sip from her soda, “I think Shokotan is into that.”

“No, absolutely  _not_ ,” Shige insists, while Tegoshi’s face breaks out into a grin. “Tegoshi, I love you, but we are just friends. Always.”

“That’s what they all say,” Tegoshi says coolly, and given the other three at the table, there’s no room for Shige to argue.


End file.
